How to Procrastinate

How To Procrastinate

            Last night, I sat in my room and thought about what I could write about for my in-class essay today. However, that didn’t last very long. I decided that I will come up with an idea tomorrow morning before class. When tomorrow morning came, I woke up with about fifteen minutes to get to class. Naturally, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write about in class. As I walked into the classroom, it hit me. I’ll write about procrastination. There is no doubt in my mind, that out of all the things I know how to do best, this is definitely at the top of the list. To procrastinate is defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “to put off intentionally and habitually.” Obviously, I have mastered this concept. After numerous years of experience and practice, I have discovered five easy steps as to how to procrastinate like a pro.

Step 1: Take your time

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that, generally speaking, procrastinators never get anything done. So why not just slow everything down and enjoy the little things, like lying in bed for an extra hour or watching reruns of Baywatch. 

Step 2: Avoid thinking about the future

No real procrastinators have any idea of what they will be doing the next day. You take everything as it comes. “Just wing it” is my motto.

Step 3: Make leisure time more important than work

Any real procrastinator will tell you that working is overrated. There is a saying among us procrastinators, “Work occasionally and play a lot.”

Step 4: Create a Facebook account

I don’t care how old you are or how much you hate social networks, having a Facebook account is one of the greatest procrastination tools known to man. I can’t even begin tell you how many times I have needed to get something done and then five minutes later I find myself on Facebook reading people status updates and looking at girls newly updated pictures.

Step 5: Have a carefree attitude

This part is essential. Don’t care about what others think. You shouldn’t feel guilty about putting things off. Do what makes you happy, and for procrastinators, that is usually doing nothing.